This morning I received 3 questions in relation to a former blog post Finding Purpose. Now, not only did they relate well to the post they were about (as you would expect) they also relate for another reason to the principle I was discussing in the last blog video What is it that is missing from your life right now? And what are you doing to keep it out?
The question were…
- What happens if you've forgotten how to dream?
- Or become so good at doing stuff for others that you've forgotten what you want for yourself?
- Or that you carry on banging your head against the same wall, in the hope that you can force your way through, simply because you don't know what else to do instead?
And my reply to the questioner ran as follows:
Firstly - did you get the opportunity watch the video "What is missing from your life and what are you doing to keep it out?" If not, watch it! Because all of three of your questions relate to this - notice how they all represent stories of hardship that you are telling yourself. You probably think these things you are saying are 'true' but really they are just 'sense creations' that undermine you (I'm sure that is a point you would be ready to argue with me). They are great examples of something you are doing that will keep what you say you want from your life.
If you want to turn your life and experience of life around, it is time to change the conversation you are having inside your head. Time to change the stories you are telling yourself about your life (your current ones undermine clarity, creativity and motivation).
Each of the questions you ask is directing your attention in a specific way. It is directing you into stuck thinking. In this sense each one serves as a piece of debilitating 'self hypnosis'.
I am going to answer each question AS IF it was not a crappy self-defeating question, but please DO NOT take this as any kind of endorsement of the questions... Just me playing the game. :-)
"What happens if you've forgotten how to dream?"
Re-learn. And if your answer to that is 'but I don't know how?' Re-watch the "what is missing from your life and what are you doing to keep it out?" video... Pay SPECIAL ATTENTION to the story about my friend who wanted to write songs but couldn't play any instruments he could write on. 'How to' is never even close to as important as 'want to'. When the 'want to' is in place, the 'how to' takes care of itself.
But even after saying that 'how do I learn to dream?' Asked with the tonality and energy of genuine curiosity would be a FAR superior question to ask yourself here... See how it directs attention differently? As the old saying goes 'you get more of what you focus on'.
"Or become so good at doing stuff for others that you've forgotten what you want for yourself?"
What you want to do is NOT an immutable static thing that exists for you to forget or remember, it something you create moment by moment. Back to creation. Back to YOU choosing to take responsibility for that creation.
What would you like to have happen instead here?
"Or that you carry on banging your head against the same wall, in the hope that you can force your way through, simply because you don't know what else to do instead?"
Stop it! Whatever you are doing, at least have the VERY BEST relationship you can with it WHILST you engage with turning your self and life around - otherwise you drive yourself into low states that do not serve you as a creator or master of your own destiny. DO NOT DO THIS. Instead learn to use your thinking to move you into clearer, more resourceful states of mind for creating and shaping a fulfilling life. This means changing the conversation you are having with yourself about what you are doing... Which probably means changing the kind of conversations you are having with yourself in general.
Have better quality conversations with yourself. Tell better quality stories about yourself and your life!
You think you are describing your reality here, but actually you are creating it. You feel your thinking, not your circumstances.
As a general rule, if you are not getting what you want from life, both inside and out, the place to begin is with changing the conversation you are having inside your head and with the world around you, and changing how you pay attention and what you pay attention to in life. To change your life you change your mind.
To paraphrase Osho…
The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.